I have no response to that.

Ever seen the movie Joe vs. the Volcano? No? That's okay, nobody else has seen it either. Except, of course, I have seen it. Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan playing two sisters, really odd film. One of the sisters that Meg Ryan plays uses the line in the title up there, and that's about how I've been feeling for the last several days.

Words seem to be passing me by on either side, or bumping into me without leaving any impression at all. What does it all mean? I have no idea.

Times like these...

Not sure how coherent I'll be in this blog. My brain is shutting off without my permission. I actually fell asleep sitting here in front of my computer a few minutes ago waiting for the washing machine to finish so that I can put the clothes in the dryer.

Today, the kids and I went to their great grandmother's 90th birthday party. Friends and family from far and wide came to see her and share her day. We had a gorgeous blue October sky, with plenty of sunshine for the kids to enjoy the small playground and field outside the church where the party was held. People who hadn't seen each other for fifty years reunited over slices of white bakery cake and ham biscuits.

I hope I'm still around when I tun 90. I hope I have as much zest and love as Big Granny, and I hope she makes it to 100, so we can do this all over again.

Movie Night

Thank God for flimsy British romance movies.

Tonight's fare was I Capture the Castle, starring Romola Garai, and Henry Thomas of all people. You know, Eliot from E.T.? I suppose it was worth the run time, as Henry Cavill played a lovely little part. The film contained all the requisite sweeping shots of blowing countryside, dramatic score, luscious 1930's costuming and atmosphere, and sparkling dinner parties.

Was the movie over-acted and needlessly misty? You betcha, but that's what's so lovable about it. It is a chick flick without reservation or remorse. Yay, Britain! Yay, Merchant Ivory and all you wannabees! Yay, costume melodramas! Yay, Jane Austen and even more wannabees! Yay, Movies!

The Once and Burger King

The theme song for Monty Python's Holy Grail is playing loudly in my head right now, and I am wearing a Burger King Crown on my damp head.

Damp, because it is raining and raining. Soon the sky will run out of water and start sending down margarita salt or something.
Burger King, because none of the other fast food joints have free head wear. Also, my hair was touching my forehead in a very annoying way and the crown keeps my hair back.
Monty Python, because my mind can't take the Sponge Bob theme any more.

It's Friday, I got a NetFlix movie today, and Monopoly has started again at Mickey D's. I'm a happy camper.

Nano, my Nano

Just a few weeks now until November 1st, are you ready?

I have my note cards ready, a fuzzy idea of what the novel will be about, and a tentative title. Yay, Me! If you haven't already figured it out, I'm talking about National Novel Writing Month. Basically, you write a novel in a month. 50K (words) in 30days. You in?

If you're wondering why anyone would do such a thing, the answer is: Why not? What have you got to lose?
Didn't you ever want to write a novel? Isn't there some spark you've had on the WAY back burner that thinks, I could write a novel if I had the time! Well, now is the time. November is one month out of your life, and by December 1st, you could have written a novel!

Broken down, it's 1667 words a day. You can do it. I've done it. Over 100,000 people signed up last year. Now it's your turn. http://www.nanowrimo.org

Ollie and me

Should be in BED! The alarm will go off (ready or not!) in less than six hours, and I have the runny-crazies. You know, like a cat at midnight. My ears are twitching and I find myself across the room wondering why I'm standing there.

Jamie Oliver is on the brain tonight. Young, cutesy British chef, who used to have a show called The Naked Chef on the Food Network a few years back. I checked out one of his cookbooks from the library the other day, and I <3 him. Toad in the hole: super good. But the best thing about it is that he seems to have written the copy himself, and you get to see a little what his life is like. There's a picture of him eating a salad with his gas man, and another of him eating a frozen fishstick sandwich. How cool is that?

One Flu Over the Cuckoo's Nest

My kids were sick, but now they're not. A whole week out of school with fever, snot, coughing, fatigue, crankiness, and I-need-to-be-mommied-all-day-long.

It's not bad enough that they were really sick, or that somehow they smelled really weird from the virus, or that no one got any sleep from the coughing, or that we had cabin fever by the third day. The kicker is all the darn make-up work from school. The kids put in an hour on Thursday and Friday, and an hour and a half on Sunday, but there's still several hours worth which is due next Friday, plus they have all of their regular work.

And I'm not that fond of Social Studies.

Cabin fever is kind of a big deal for me. Don't get me wrong, I love my solitude, probably more than most people, but I work through my anxiety by wandering around Big Lots or Tuesday Morning or T.J. Maxx. I'm not really a spender, but I like to look and think. By Wednesday, my brain felt like a pressure cooker. I made two pounds of spaghetti, veggie tacos, and baked cookies just to have something to do.

Then I joined NetFlix. By Friday afternoon, I had rated over three hundred movies and was still scrolling through the selections. There are seventy-eight DVDs in my cue (because I absolutely MUST see every movie Colin Firth was ever in).

I'll never get anything done, now.

De-caffeinated. Part 2.

I have passed through the valley, children, and come out on the other side. Here I sit, my hands as steady as they'll ever be wondering what cosmic impact my mortal sacrifice will have on humanity at large.

Don't scoff! The butterfly effect could be worming its way across the globe as I write.

Imagine, if you will: a woman gives up caffeine and begins sleeping well, her creative process ignites!
She sits down to her computer with vim, vigor, and a killer concept and because she has newly found drive and focus, she writes her magnum opus. The work is published and revered by all and sundry, the ideas contained in the book are inspiring to so many that there is a modern renaissance of words and ideas that touch every aspect of humanity.

That or else she's so tired from lack of caffeine, she sits on the couch and watches The Price is Right.

But either way, watch out for the butterfly effect.

De-caffeinated.

Three days with no caffeine. My hands don't really feel like my own, especially the left one. It types a lot slower than the right one, too. There's a lingering headache, and I've got the chills.

I'd jump immediately to the conclusion that I had swine flu if I hadn't been through caffeine withdrawal before. Tonight things are going to get really really bad, but tomorrow will be worse. The last time I got totally decaffeinated, I paced my tiny kitchen for about six straight hours.

So why on earth am I giving up caffeine? Well, cuz I don't sleep well and I'm tired and weird all the time because of it. And I find myself more and more anxious and annoyed.
In fact, I'm pretty darn annoyed right now.

So much to Ditch about, so little energy.

How bout a list?

Cherry slush on the gaming controllers (wii, game cube, N64)
Yucky bathroom
At least two trash bags worth of garbage on my kids' floors

I'm annoying myself, so lets have a topic switch.

For no apparent reason, one of the teachers at my boys' school annoys the snot out of me. I can't walk past her with out thinking she's an old bag. I have never EVER felt this way about a teacher. I loved school. I actively miss it. When I buy my kids school supplies I wish they were mine. Okay, so I buy extras for myself, but who doesn't love a new pack of Crayolas?

In other news, the cable guy is coming on Friday to switch me over to digital cable and cable internet and that cable phone business. Which means I must clean the bathroom and the cherry slush residue.

But maybe I'll just shut the doors of the kids' rooms.

Fashion Choices of the Young and... Odd.

So, yesterday I was leaving the Alexandria Rd Kroger, here in Lexington and Michael Jackson drove by. I stood in the middle of the parking lot and watched him go in a crappy, mid-nineties something or other in his fedora and aviators. True story.
Ten minutes later, I saw him walk out of a gas station near Lafayette High School, get into the back of a mini-van and shut the sliding door. Only this time he had boobs.
This morning I drove my kids to school and there he was again, waiting at the bus stop down the street. He had considerably more pudge in the midsection, and it looked like someone had forcibly removed the hatband from his dented fedora, but it was him all the same.

I'd know him anywhere by those mirrored shades.

Everybody's doing it.

According to recent research, everybody on the planet is blogging, now including me. I realized how behind the 8ball I was when perusing FB one day. A guy I'd known in college - a guy who to my knowledge rarely uttered more than two syllables together - had a blog. Still waters run deep? Jaw wired shut? Who knows, but here I am.